Bad Moods Happen
2012
Austin: "What's the next holiday?"
Me: "Um, Mother's Day."
Austin: "Pfft. Mother's Day. Why does anyone celebrate Mother's Day?"
Me: "Why do you think people celebrate Mother's Day?"
Austin; "Because some people want to be nice to their moms."
Me: "Yup. That's why. You seem like you aren't in a very good mood. I am going to go drink my coffee in my office. You are welcome to join me, if you'd like."
Austin:"No! I'm going upstairs! I want to be alone today and play video games! If I need anything, I'll call you!"
Me: "Okay. You know my number."
I can't say I was thrilled with the whole exchange. I know I didn't let it upset me. I mean everyone wakes up on the wrong side of the bed occasionally; pissed off and ready for a fight. Ten year old boys are no different.
But what was I to do? Take it personally? Nah. Go lecture him about how awesome I am and how I don't deserve to be talked to that way because of my awesomeness? Nope. Try to fix him? Yuck! No, thank you! He wanted to be alone and he wanted to play video games. Great! Have at it, my man!
There was a time where a video game ban would have been made for the day since he can't be nice to his wonderful mother- who does so many amazing things for him- then he can't do the thing he wants to do. Harumph! But, lectures just leave people pissed off and resentful, and most certainly don't lead to a nice day.
My point here is: letting him go play games when he's in a shitty mood is probably what's best for everyone involved.
I played out in the garden for a while. Austin came out and helped me pull weeds. After he had some time to himself, we had several wonderful conversations in the garden ranging from police brutality to corruption in government to yogurt. When he got hot and bored, he went back inside.
After my back was begging me to stop, I called Austin out to look at everything I had done and we saw a butterfly walking along the sidewalk. It was a weird thing to see. I'm pretty sure he had just hatched and was drying his wings because he did not mind us being close at all. In fact, he climbed up on our fingers and stayed there. We played with the butterfly for a long time. We looked at his antlers, his tongue, his fuzzy little body, the front and the back of his wings. We marveled at how beautiful he was then gave him a drink. Austin wanted to keep him and call him Butty (you know, like Buddy, but he's a butterfly so BuTTy instead. Cute.), so we put him in our butterfly garden and gave him some fruit and foliage at which point Austin said:
"Today was a really good day."
It was a good day in so many ways! Today brought about a moment of clarity for me where I was able to see getting caught up in Austin's frustration and anger would only cause more frustration and anger. By letting him have some space to do what he needed to do we ended up having several beautiful moments today as opposed to fighting all day.
Butty the Butterfly
Austin came downstairs after he woke up in a bad mood today. As I was making my coffee, this is the conversation we had:Austin: "What's the next holiday?"
Me: "Um, Mother's Day."
Austin: "Pfft. Mother's Day. Why does anyone celebrate Mother's Day?"
Me: "Why do you think people celebrate Mother's Day?"
Austin; "Because some people want to be nice to their moms."
Me: "Yup. That's why. You seem like you aren't in a very good mood. I am going to go drink my coffee in my office. You are welcome to join me, if you'd like."
Austin:"No! I'm going upstairs! I want to be alone today and play video games! If I need anything, I'll call you!"
Me: "Okay. You know my number."
I can't say I was thrilled with the whole exchange. I know I didn't let it upset me. I mean everyone wakes up on the wrong side of the bed occasionally; pissed off and ready for a fight. Ten year old boys are no different.
But what was I to do? Take it personally? Nah. Go lecture him about how awesome I am and how I don't deserve to be talked to that way because of my awesomeness? Nope. Try to fix him? Yuck! No, thank you! He wanted to be alone and he wanted to play video games. Great! Have at it, my man!
There was a time where a video game ban would have been made for the day since he can't be nice to his wonderful mother- who does so many amazing things for him- then he can't do the thing he wants to do. Harumph! But, lectures just leave people pissed off and resentful, and most certainly don't lead to a nice day.
My point here is: letting him go play games when he's in a shitty mood is probably what's best for everyone involved.
I played out in the garden for a while. Austin came out and helped me pull weeds. After he had some time to himself, we had several wonderful conversations in the garden ranging from police brutality to corruption in government to yogurt. When he got hot and bored, he went back inside.
After my back was begging me to stop, I called Austin out to look at everything I had done and we saw a butterfly walking along the sidewalk. It was a weird thing to see. I'm pretty sure he had just hatched and was drying his wings because he did not mind us being close at all. In fact, he climbed up on our fingers and stayed there. We played with the butterfly for a long time. We looked at his antlers, his tongue, his fuzzy little body, the front and the back of his wings. We marveled at how beautiful he was then gave him a drink. Austin wanted to keep him and call him Butty (you know, like Buddy, but he's a butterfly so BuTTy instead. Cute.), so we put him in our butterfly garden and gave him some fruit and foliage at which point Austin said:
"Today was a really good day."
It was a good day in so many ways! Today brought about a moment of clarity for me where I was able to see getting caught up in Austin's frustration and anger would only cause more frustration and anger. By letting him have some space to do what he needed to do we ended up having several beautiful moments today as opposed to fighting all day.
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